Saturday, 20 September 2008

A Traveller's Prayer

My Lord God
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really understand myself.
And the fact that I think I am following Your will,
does not mean I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.
And I hope I have the desire in all that I do.
I hope that I never persist in anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the
right road though I may know nothing about it at the time.

Therefore will I trust you always for though I may
seem to be lost and in the shadow of death,
I will not be afraid because I know
you are ever with me
and you will never leave me to face my troubles alone.
Amen

Sunday, 6 July 2008

If - Rudyard Kipling

One of my all time favourite poems -If BY Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream -- and not make dreams your master;
If you can think -- and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings -- nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run --
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And -- which is more -- you'll be a Man, my son!

Thursday, 8 May 2008

The Preacher - Part 1

(This is a work of Fiction interspersed with doses of reality)
One Saturday afternoon, I was enjoying a steaming cup of coffee in a cafe in Oxford Street, watching the world swirl all around me. Although the cafe is buzzing with chatty shoppers alongside strains of jazz and blues music in the background, the real action lies outside where thousands of people from all walks of life race to and fro, making the most of their weekends. It was a particularly sunny day and the sunlight streaming through the windows brightened the dull woodwork and sober colours inside the cafe.

Looking around me I noticed on my right were a pair of young lovers holding hands, looking misty eyed at one another and laughing to softly, ahead of me sat a small group of elderly ladies who were clearly enjoying their day out and playing crossword games. There were other tables occupied by people either on their own or with others. I also noticed a middle-aged man with his hair tied in a ponytail wearing a long raincoat, a baseball cap and a pair of gloves sitting by the window in the far corner looking out into the street.

As I was preparing to leave in stormed a rather large heavyset man wearing a noticeably shiny Crucifix around his neck stormed in clutching a shoulder bag. He looked around and began distributing leaflets all around the cafe. He began talking to some of the people asking if they had heard of Jesus and if they knew that the only way to Heaven was through Christ alone. There was a woman wearing a headscarf and I noticed her discomfort when he went up to her and began raising his voice proclaiming the sole validity of his religious beliefs as opposed to any other.

His words were to me anyway, nothing new. I have patiently listened to passionate discourses about religious and/or spiritual beliefs from various people over the years and each one of them has displayed the same enthusiasm and firmness of belief in theirs being the only way to God or salvation. I have learnt to take it in my stride of course after all; don’t we all have the right to choose what is the most appropriate path for ourselves?

Back to the cafe and the murmur had died down by now. The preacher had moved from the Muslim lady to others and seemed to be encouraged by the quietened response he received. He now had an audience. While I need not repeat his words dear reader, it will suffice to say that his preaching was perceived more as a disturbance and the staff at the cafe were exchanging nervous looks at one another. I suspect they must have been trained for this sort of occurrence and a member of staff would call local security sooner or later.

The preacher turned his attentions to the man in the trench coat in the far corner and approached him asking him if he believed in God and more importantly believed in Christ as the only way to salvation. The pony-tailed man did not respond or look at the preacher, he kept his head down, drinking his coffee quietly. The preacher seemed to get somewhat agitated and raised his voice throwing a few pamphlets down at the table calling him a sinner and that his redemption lay in repentance. Suddenly the pony-tailed man raised his head and looked directly at the preacher. I was not close enough to understand what transpired between them but the preacher abruptly stopped and stood frozen for a moment. He then turned and moved rapidly towards the exit. He appeared to be in the greatest of hurry to leave the cafe and knocked an empty chair down in the process.

Everyone looked at the pony-tailed man who I suspect may have been of mixed caucasian and middle-eastern descent. He was of medium height and had a trimly cut beard. He looked around and our eyes met for a lingering moment. He then stood up and walked towards the exit. After he left, the murmuring around the cafe returned to normal, this time with relief in the air.

The Preacher Part 2

I finished my coffee and I was leaving as well. Having glanced at the table where the bearded stranger sat, I noticed he left behind a small book, which seemed to glow in the sunlight. As it was just a few moments since he had left the cafe, I thought I might as well return it to him. Taking the book I rushed out and looked on either side of the street hoping to catch sight of the stranger. I noticed him on the opposite side of the street walking towards Hyde Park. I crossed at the traffic light and called out to him. Of course he was not going to hear me but I thought I'd call out anyway. I ran up to him and showed him the book. He looked at it with the look of mild surprise on his face and thanked me. He had a very warm presence and I felt as if I had met him previously or known him before. He walked on and I followed him.

Not knowing what to say I introduced myself thanking him for what he had done in the cafe. I didn’t quite hear what his name was. He smiled broadly and said he did nothing in the cafe and that it was the collective will of everybody which sent the false preacher away. He then chuckled as if lost in thought- 'Everybody seems to know all the answers...and yet they are so desperate to make others validate those answers for them.'
I laughed along with him saying that I believed in what the man said but also that all other religions were equally valid as the teachers of those paths were as Divine like Jesus.He looked at me warmly and asked me 'Do you suppose young man that God's heart is big enough to love everybody equally, so much so that He would send His teachers again and again to this world to make the blind see and the deaf hear? I thought for a moment and replied 'Yes I do.' He seemed pleased with my answer and put his right arm around my shoulder 'Come then, walk with me a little further'.

We walked in silence, side by side. Upon entering Hyde Park we stopped beside a row of trees. 'This is such a beautiful day' he said ' such beautiful life.. such a beautiful world...' he stood beside me, eyes closed facing the sun, the sky, the trees, feeling the warm summers breeze silently for a few moments.

I knew by then that this was no ordinary man, he radiated a very genuine warmth and standing next to him I could feel a strong tug at my heart, a wave of love for all the people in my life, for all the experiences that I had and more importantly a strong wave of love for myself. I felt blessed. While I do not know the reasons for these beautiful and powerful emotions, I could not bring myself to reason with anything. I just wanted to soak in this moment and just exist in it like I had never done before. I opened my eyes and realised that in those few moments I had been crying to myself. He was standing before me, smiling and looked right into my eyes. I felt compelled to close my eyes for I did not know what was happening to me.

Love does this to us dear reader. It reconnects us with the innermost core of ourselves, bringing us back in touch with the very substance of who we essential are. In this space, neither the ego nor the materialistic world with its myriad social norms exist. We do not have to be anyone or anything else. We just are-purity, divinity, a unity with the soul and spirit of the universe. When you experience the truth coursing through your veins, what can you do but let it overflow through tears.

I felt wave upon wave of love, not the kind of love you feel for a person or for an object or any other kind of mundane love. This was an ancient love, the existence I suspected in the deepest parts of my being and yet never realised existed. If anyone wants to know what love is dear reader, this is what real, unadulterated, love is. It does not end and does not begin. It is beyond words or description. It just felt as if this love would engulf me or dissolve me into itself. I felt like a 10-watt bulb and a million watts of electricity was being passed through me. Could this have been the bliss, which mystics have experienced throughout the ages?

This bliss subsided gently and I opened my eyes.
'I have to go now, thank you for walking with me.' He smiled again.'Sir the Honour is mine, I don’t know what to say, you seem to know my very soul' I sobbed softly, it felt as if my dearest friend or brother was leaving me for good.
'Shhh my child'..he put his hand on my head gently ..' feel the grass beneath your feet..look at the trees around you, the sky above you...listen to the noises around you...feel the heartbeat inside you..do you not know..my beloved son...I am always with you..inside you..around you...
I hugged him like a young child not wanting him to let his father go but I felt deep gratitude for whoever he was and wherever He came from.

He gave me his little book and told me to compose the story of my life in its pages. I opened it and it was completely blank. We stood for a few moments in silence in the midst of a light summers breeze and I experienced a kindred connection with this man, something I had experienced many times before in perhaps another time, another place. He then began walking away from me towards the other end of the park. I stood at that spot watching this magnificent, divine, mystical stranger walk away, clutching his book to my heart.

A little distance away he turned around and looked at me.
He removed his gloves, touched his heart and waved. As he waved goodbye, even from that distance I noticed his right hand, and the sight of it mesmerised me, for right in the centre of his palm was a large hole left by a wound inflicted a very long time ago...

Thursday, 24 April 2008

Who said lawyers are not comedians?

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right

ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you kiddin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
Can I get a new attorney

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on deadpeople?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you liketo rephrase that

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing anautopsy on him

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for apulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law!

Sunday, 20 April 2008

The Flame

I've been searching for so long
Now I'm chasing the shadows away
I've been trying, yes I tried to find my way
No more crying in this make or break decade

There were times when I was down
There were times I felt so low
My whole life just seemed to be
A senseless quest for energy
But I carry your flame
All through my life, I'm a believer
Peace deep in our hearts, all things must pass
But we'll be together again

I've been walking
I've been walking in the rain
When the angel of my intuition whispered hello
Well I was quite surprised to face
That kind of incarnation
Love comes always unexpected
Love strikes blind and undircted
Love is the answer

Love is all we need my friend
How you came and changed the weather
How I wanna live forever
I carry your flame
All through my life, I'm a believer
Peace deep in our hearts, all things must pass
But we'll be together...

Lyrics: Alphaville http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khxVoG7YKXw

Thursday, 27 March 2008

Seeker's Longing

This is dedicated to all seekers of yesterday, today and tomorrow..

To delight in pure freedom,
Of peerless heart, of joyous soul,
Of endless love, irrevocable and unconditional..

To love in unison, the hearts of all creation,
To heal a millennia of pain,
All wounds, hidden, smouldering..
To uplift the weariness of all souls
in this world or the next..
To summit heights unreachable,
To plunge into depths unknown..

To ride the chariots of the wind,
To skim the endless ocean,
To touch the face of the sun
To drown in the moonlit ambrosia.
Of Your creation

To see, to really see the world,
With all it’s hidden colours..
To hear the world as it really is,
the hidden melodies, harmonics beyond compare..
ahh how much is Unseen and unheard,
waiting to be discovered,but not yet...not yet..

To fly on the wings of angels,
To preserve the scales of all balance ,
Of the heart of the soul
with the source of all
The pure..untainted One..

To touch Your face..
To merge.. into no beginnings, no ends
To be everywhere and nowhere..
To be everything and nothing..
To separate, to dissolve,
To exist, to disappear
Into You..

Lord let me melt
Into your divine ocean..
Let me be blinded by
Your divine light..
Let me become the ceaseless love
Of Your heart,
Your peerless heart..
Mysterious and everywhere..
For only in the hidden cavern of Your heart
will this seeker ever find
his very own...

Saturday, 1 March 2008

Words of Rumi

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."

"The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."

"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet."

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there."

"Oh soul,you worry too much.You have seen your own strength.You have seen your own beauty.You have seen your golden wings.Of anything less,why do you worry?You are in truth the soul, of the soul, of the soul.""Don't grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form."

"You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?"

"Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.""Observe the wonders as they occur around you. Don't claim them. Feel the artistry moving through and be silent."

"Every tree and plant in the meadow seemed to be dancing, those which average eyes would see as fixed and still""Something opens our wings. Something makes boredom and hurt disappear. Someone fills the cup in front of us: We taste only sacredness."

"Everyone sees the unseen in proportion to the clarity of his heart, and that depends upon how much he has polished it. Whoever has polished it more sees more - more unseen forms become manifest to him."

"Why do you stay in prisonwhen the door is so wide open?Move outside the tangle of fear-thinking.Live in silence.""Knowest thou not the beauty of thine own face? Quit this temper that leads thee to war with thyself."

-Rumi

Wednesday, 16 January 2008

The Angel (Part 1)

(This is a work of fiction)

My Grandfather always had a story to tell.

I especially remember those long evenings sipping tea in the veranda, safe from the heavy monsoon rain inches away, as he would tell me of the many strange and often fascinating moments of his life.

'Gramps' as my younger brother and I used to call him, had quite an extraordinary life. Even in his seventies he was a good deal stronger than most men half his age, he was a bodybuilder and wrestler in the old days and collected many a trophy from strongman competitions. I never failed to notice the twinkle in his eyes whenever he recounted his bouts in the akhada or wrestling mud pit where he would wrestle other tough guys in the ancient, traditional fighting styles.

Growing up around this ageing mountain of a man, we always tried to emulate his workouts and join him in chanting the Hanuman Chalisa. He used to say that his strength came directly from the God of strength, Hanuman himself. While everyone seemed to admire his faith and erudite experience most people received his stories with a pinch of salt.

Now it was a well-known fact that Gramps had served in the Second World War as part of the Indian effort against the Nazi threat. I used to help my granny in her monthly rituals dusting and sometimes polishing his post war medals and bravery awards before putting them back in the display case. In between moves of chess, I would notice the far away look in his eyes as he gazed at the medals standing in the glass case nearby. Prodding him to make his move would have been an invasion of his daytime reveries but to a young boy of 10 or 12, beating grandpa at chess or snakes and ladders was much more important.

One particularly memorable September evening, we sat in the veranda watching the late afternoon sun disappear behind a thick blanket of dark nimbus clouds. A cool breeze was gathering momentum, rustling through the leafy branches of trees lining the garden path, swirling mild clouds of dust off the ground signalling the storm that was to follow. Mom and dad were not at home and granny was busy as usual baking a cake or some other delicacy in the oven.

'Why does it rain grandpa?' I asked him.

'Ohh well my boy, maybe God wants to give the Earth a good bath eh?' he chuckled over his thick shell framed glasses. He laughed one of his silent heavy chuckles again and then said- 'maybe there are angels racing each other in the sky and making it rain.'

I liked the thought of that.

But are angels real grandpa? I haven't seen them'. I insisted.

Ahh yes they are..they are he said, a twinkle in his eye as if he knew something.

Where are they, where do they live?'...a little boys questions can go on and on, as I'm sure you are all too aware dear reader.

He put his newspaper down and began playing with his spectacles. I got very excited because he always did that when he was going to tell me a story. What he went on to tell me left its mark on my young mind and in its own way shaped the course of adventures, which I was to face in the years ahead. He told me this story with more detail when I was older and ready to understand it with greater maturity.

This is his story:


Many years ago during the Second World War, I was only 17 years old and very far away from your great-grandparents and home in India. I served in the Maratha Infantry and we were part of the Allied war effort against the Nazis in Italy. Our boys fought side by side with British, French, Polish and Soviet troops at the time.

Italy has some of the most beautiful countryside in the world and it was such a pity to see the land and its people being ravaged by this war. Pristine green meadows contrasted by milky white houses. Chapel bells ringing in the distance with the cool breeze in your ringing in your ears. There were infrequent moments when we did experience a peaceful interlude such as this and one could be forgiven for almost forgetting that we were in the midst of a horrible war. Then the sound of gunshots in the distance would bring us back to the present. The luxury to pause for thought was rare, this was a war and every day was a life and death situation.

Although formidable opponents, the Nazis were retreating into the countryside and using villages, monasteries and farmland as lines of defence. Everyday was a new challenge; we had to deal with landmines strewn just about everywhere. We could not afford to be careless where a misplaced step could mean the loss of our limbs and even our lives.

I remember a day just like this; it was the winter of 1944. We had pushed the Nazi lines some distance away to a small village near the Chapel of Montecassino. There was a severe hailstorm; it felt almost as if God was weeping at the sight of so many of his children destroying each other. I was stationed along with five others by a hill overseeing the enemy lines ahead. There was not going to be an offensive march ahead in these conditions, it made better sense to wait until the downpour abated.

Up ahead in the distance I noticed some movement in the fading light. Using my binoculars I saw some German soldiers marching a line of local villagers away from the village into the forest nearby. My heart melted. I could make out the weeping faces of the people, their hands tied, eyes wide with fear, weeping bitterly, tears shrivelling the skin on their sad faces. I signalled my companions Raj Singh and Zia Khan, who saw the same spectacle but without orders or approval we could not move ahead. It began snowing pretty heavily and the notion of just a few of us going on ahead was most certainly suicidal. I felt helpless watching them go by, it made no difference if we were going to fight to take their village tomorrow, these people would be dead by then. I looked again and saw there were young children among this group, their hands bound as well. I had seen a lot of horrors in the war in my young life thus far but this was too much to bear. I never felt hate and helplessness as much as I felt that moment.

I don’t know what made me do what I did. Perhaps it was irrationality brought about by exhaustion, maybe I hated the Nazi soldiers too much to think clearly or follow command. I took my rifle and ventured out onto the other side of the hill. My comrades noticed and called out to me, their voices muffled in the downpour. I did not look back, all I could see in my minds eye were the terrified faces of the children, I did not care if I lived any further, I wanted to save these poor innocent people or die in the effort.

I followed the group, keeping some distance from them. There were about 35 people prisoners, including women, elderly men and at least 15 children flanked by 10 German soldiers. I wanted them to stop somewhere, before I acted. They couldn’t be going too far away as it was getting dark and they would want to get back to their camp, or so I thought. The forest that we entered was dense with much snow covered foliage to hide behind and remain undetected. It was getting colder.

After a half hour or so, they stopped by a small chapel which may have been uninhabited. Beside the chapel was a large pit in the ground. It couldn’t have been more than 10 feet deep and 20 feet wide. I realised this was one of the thousands of execution pits in which Jews would be shot or sometimes pushed into, while the soldiers shot at their victims almost like a sport to amuse themselves. The soldiers shouted at the people to jump inside the pit. After a warning gunshot they prisoners did as they were told. I wished I had the support of my comrades behind the hill.

As the soldiers readied them selves to fire at their victims in the pit, I took aim as well and fired the first shot at the one who was barking orders to the others. He fell dead in an instant as a result of a clean shot in the head. The others turned frantically looking everywhere unsure from where the bullet was fired. I felt like a ghost in the falling snow and moved a few meters away and fired again, this time shooting another soldier in the chest. He fell into the pit; I heard some screams from the children. A shot was fired at my direction and I ducked behind a large rock. I could not outlast the remaining 8 German soldiers. The shots being fired over my head seemed to bring to light the fruitlessness of my actions, now not only those villagers but even I would meet my doom in the four walls of that muddy pit.

The something very odd happened. The ground began to shake, at first the tremors were mild but then became harsher and more destructive, it barely occurred to me that there was a minor earthquake on this miserable day. However the shooting stopped and I turned again firing a volley of shots at my counterparts, four of whom got hit. Two of them died while the other two fell to the ground. To my horror I saw the ground open up beside the pit and swallow all four of them. I could not see any of the remaining soldiers and to save myself I climbed onto the rock I was hiding behind.

I could make out the people in the pit were still alive, shivering but alive. I almost felt an adrenaline rush to think that the Germans had run away or died by my gun or by the strange earthquake. Suddenly I heard a crack and a jolt of pain in my arm; I fell off the rock and saw one of the remaining soldiers shooting at me from about 10 meters away. I felt it was the end and without my gun, I blindly stumbled ahead, falling into the pit. The last sight I remember was the shocked and frightened faces of the children there and the falling snow. I fell unconscious.

The Angel (Part 2)

It felt as if I had been heavily asleep for days or even more.

I awoke to the sound of the most haunting music I had ever heard in my young life. The sound, the melody, the emotions they evoked.. my young mind could not begin to comprehend. I felt as if the instruments playing this music had a life of their own. I opened my eyes and realised I was still in that pit but strangely I was alone. It was not snowing as before neither was it as bitterly cold. It was daylight but unlike any daylight I had ever known. Radiant white light spread everywhere, shimmering, glowing like a thousand suns. I stood up and looked all around, confused, dazzled and afraid.

Perhaps I was dead. Then I felt sadness for my parents who were praying for me everyday back home far, far away. How I had missed them this past year. My sadness seemed to wash away with the music. Music emanating from walls around me, the trees and sky above me and the ground beneath me. I felt light, almost rejuvenated, I felt happy which made me feel even more confused.

And then I saw something, which changed my whole life.

In front of me stood a radiant being, about 15 feet tall, cloaked in glowing whitish gold light. I could notice a highly muscular frame taking shape in that light and then two enormous wings. It was an Angel. His gaze was looking upwards towards the sky, His wings were a mix of white and rose coloured feathers. I felt a strong surge of love running all around me and within me, I wept with poignant happiness, poignant sorrow, I wept at this spectacular sight, I wept with bliss, glowing with this light shining through my every pore, enthralled in this intoxicating music playing through the deepest recesses of my soul.

He looked at me with compassion in His eyes and smiled slightly. He did not speak a word but I knew what he was saying. He spoke neither in words nor in signs. I just knew what He wanted to say. I got a feeling, a sensation of immense strength from him as he moved His arms slightly and spread His wings wide for me to see him in all his glory. The more His wings expanded the more intoxicating was the music and the deeper the light appeared to glow through me. The questions uppermost in my mind whenever I would pray all those lonely nights was why did God allow such horrors, why evil people did what they did, why did the innocent have to suffer so.

As if to answer my question I found myself standing closer to Him, somewhere far away. It looked like another part of Italy, it was a sunny day and we were atop a large cathedral overlooking miles ahead almost as if the world was spread out flat on a table. As I gazed into the distance, I saw thousands of other winged beings, giant Angels everywhere, across all lands among people of different races and continents. Some people were peaceful, others were at war but wherever I looked I could Angels and these angels would walk amongst these people, help them as they went about their daily lives regardless of who they were or their circumstances.

Then I saw the Angels were standing with my family in India, my comrades who fought beside me and to my shock I found them with my enemy – the Nazi soldiers. I would have felt anger if that were possible, but the bliss evoked by the music, the light and the feelings of love coursing through my veins made it impossible for me to even entertain the thought of anger. The same light, the same music, the same love that was coursing through me was being sent into the hearts of the Nazi soldiers as well. There was an aura of darkness around them however; the darkness was their own fear, their own ignorance and their own pride. This was keeping the light from reaching into them.

I began experiencing feelings of forgiveness towards this evil regime. I began crying for them not out of spite or even pity but as if they were my own brethren who had lost their way. I began to wish dearly that the light which was blazing though me, would go through them as well, I could hear my own voice inside praying for them, praying deeper than I had ever prayed before. I only felt love and this love was more powerful than any weapon I had come across. For only a greater love could ever change intense hate into forgiveness and love. I could feel a sensation of love so strong that I knew if it touched the most hateful, vengeful person on Earth or even in hell, it would change that person forevermore.

I then noticed the ground I was standing upon, it was the muddy pit I had fallen into. I saw the Angel in front of me again. He was silent but He spoke to my heart, more than anybody I have ever known. I understood now that it was He who made the ground shake and open up, it was He who sent me to help these people and it was He who saved my life. The light subsided as did the music which seemed to be a heavenly piano, a hauntingly beautiful melody, no Earthly piano could ever reproduce.

His wings spread wide and His arms moved to the side, His presence signified strength in all its magnificence. I felt that I need never feel afraid ever again. Then He smiled at me and looked upwards and gently lifted off the ground. I vaguely remember the music and the light fainting into the hushed silence. The last sight before me was the rose and white feathers on His wings.

I heard a faint cry and turned around and found myself lying in the wet muddy pit I had fallen into. I saw the children screaming before me. I stood up almost in singular fluid motion realising where I was. It appeared as if no time had passed since I had fallen from the rock nearby. I could not hear any shots being fired. I signalled for the others to calm down and that I was not the enemy. I noticed that during the earthly tremors a small tree had fallen halfway into the pit. I climbed half way up the trunk of the tree to get a better look. I could not see anyone outside. No more gunshots and no more soldiers. Could the soldiers have retreated back to the nearby village, I asked myself.

I did not know Italian but motioned again for the group to quieten down once again. I climbed out of the pit and made a quick sweep of the area. Seeing no signs of anybody else, I assisted the people to climb out. They were in shock and wouldn’t be able to last in the biting cold for long. I was certainly not going to wait for the German soldiers to return. I cut the bonds that tied their hands and made them follow me back on the path I had come from. The young children were nearing exhaustion and I held five of them, two in each arm and one on my back.

It was with tremendous relief that we reached our base beside the hill and into safety. My Polish Commanding Officer, Bogdan Dverofwisk was absolutely dumbstruck. Instead of firing me for a serious breach of discipline, he came over and hugged me with all his might. It was then that I felt a jab of pain in my shoulder and arm. I may have passed out after that for later on I was told they removed 3 bullets from my right arm and shoulder and much blood was lost. It was inconceivable for anybody to have survived for as long as I did, let alone rescue a group of Prisoners who were to be executed. I knew this was possible only because of the Angel. The next day the Allies marched on ahead and took over the Village ahead of us. We fought many more difficult battles over the next couple of months.

The Angel (Part 3)

In the autumn of 1945, we had won a major battle at the large Cathedral of Montecassino but not before sadly bombing it to smithereens. I remember that fateful morning in April 1945 very well. I climbed onto the ruins of what must have been a beautiful structure. And then I realised looking out into the distance, it was the same summit from where I stood beside the rose winged one, months earlier to see the rest of the world filled with other angels. I sat down in awe. I did not tell anybody about my experience, for at the tender age of 17 thrown into the midst of battle, I did not have the chance to assimilate all that had been shown to me.

But even then, a change had occurred. I never hated the enemy again. I felt pity even sorrow for their deaths but realised that it was essential for the forces of Good to triumph over evil if this world was to keep living. I would always look to see if there was a winged one nearby, whether it was on the battlefield and even after the war ended. I was proud of the Indian effort, we lost 5,600 soldiers to keep the darkness of a Nazi world out forever.

Fear never ruled my life; neither did any emotions of hate. Over time I realised with the advent of other experiences that we are not alone, we are never alone. There are Angels who walk among us, talk with us and help us grow closer to God. All we need to do is open ourselves. The light is all around, we just need to open the doors of our hearts..

Epilogue:

I never doubted Grandpa’s experience for he was a remarkable man among men. Never claiming to be special he espoused the essence of service, humility and love to everyone he came across.

He passed away peacefully in his sleep many years later; my grandmother did not shed a tear, she believed as he did. She knew many, many things as well.

After his funeral that humid August afternoon, his ashes were scattered over the Ganges over the recitation of Sanskrit hymns and shlokas as he departed on his final journey to God and his beloved Angels. I sat by the banks of this ancient and Holy River with a knot in my throat and a heavy heart, I was missing him already. A thought of him flying among Angels, perhaps with wings of his own, passed my mind and that made me smile.

I felt a gust of wind brush my face and felt the stirrings of a mild shower from a passing cloud above. I looked upwards and closed my eyes to soak the gentle coolness of the drizzle.
After a few moments I looked down and there upon the ground, beside my feet lay..a white and rose coloured feather..